Fallen Dreams
by fivewits
Summary: Anzu is ecstatic, she has gotten into her choice school in New York! But, Yugi and Yami don't want to let her, afraid that she'll leave for good. But, in trying to hold onto her, they lose her. Going back to search for her, surprises may be in store.
1. Bare Grace Misery

A/N New story ­ why start another one when I haven't gotten anywhere close to completing 'Forgotten past'? 'Cause, that's why...I had to revise my original idea of that one...long story. Anyway. I keep reading these of tearful goodbyes when Anzu leaves for NY, and I thought, but, what if Yugi doesn't want her to leave? What if...? What if...? So started this story. It'll be multiple chapters, leaping a bit into the future after this one. This story may or may not have a coupling, I'm not too sure. But it will be Anzu-centric, just to warn you. I like her! A note about the dance routine, I've tried to describe it, but if you listen to the song 'Bare Grace Misery' by Nightwish and read it, you will hopefully be able to vaguely visualize it. It's based off a routine that I and my group did to that song. Thanks, I'll stop talking now...  
  
"You can't go Anzu!"  
  
"Yugi, I've done everything I could possibly do for you and the others, now for once, I have to do something for myself! There will be a life after this that we all have to live!"  
  
"But, New York?!?"  
  
"Yes! This is my dream Yugi! I will see it through no matter what the cost!"  
  
"But, what about me? What about Yami, Honda and Jounouchi? Shizuka will be devastated!"  
  
"You'll be fine, we'll keep in touch."  
  
"But I'll miss you...." Anzu softened a little  
  
"I'll miss you as well."  
  
"Does that mean your staying?" Yugi's face looked like a child about to receive a birthday present. It was hard to get mad at, but Anzu had had about enough.  
  
"Yugi, I am going! And that is final! This is my dream, I will not give it up." She turned to leave. A bright flash of light came up behind her, knowing what it meant, she kept walking. Well, she tried, but an older Yugi stepped in front of her.  
  
"We both love you, you are aware of that?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then why are you leaving us?"  
  
"Yami, I've just explained that! I can't, I won't give up on my dream, just for love."  
  
"You will break his heart."  
  
"Why? Why can't he, and you, just accept the fact that I'm leaving for a while, but I'll be back!"  
  
"We are afraid. Afraid that you won't" That was the last straw  
  
"Why can't you just TRUST me?!?! You're always going on about the heart of the cards, trusting in yourself, try trusting others for a moment, and stop being so selfish!" She threw a pamphlet at him. "Here, this is what I came to give you anyways, it's a dance recital, but I doubt that you'd be interested." She left and slammed the door.  
  
'Yami, maybe she's right, this has been her dream for a long time...'  
  
'I will not let her leave us aibou, not for anything'  
  
'Still...I don't really want her to be unhappy...which she would be if she stayed here.'  
  
'I care not, she is staying!'

* * *

"I can't believe him! He knows how much this means to me! This has been my dream for...forever! Dancing is who I am!" Anzu was still storming down the sidewalk to her own home. People passed by, staying out of her way, but otherwise not paying attention to what they thought was a normal teenaged mood swing. When she got home, she knew she had to dance. It was her stress reliever. About to put on her normal upbeat routine music, she caught sight of a CD that Mai had lent her. Normally, their musical tastes were completely different, but Anzu was in the mood for a little darkness today. She could feel her connection as soon as the singer's voice came on. She danced the whole CD, every once and while catching a phrase, but really just letting off steam.  
  
"Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself"  
  
That's right, even during battle city, and Pegasus, I was the one everyone was saving, well no more! Anzu's a big girl now, I can take of myself.  
  
"Perfect by nature, Icons of self-indulgence"  
  
Thinking that they can control my life, that all that matters is them....  
  
"Watching me wanting me, I can feel you pull me down"  
  
Those two will fall one day, and I refuse to go with them anymore!  
  
"Don't try to fix me I'm not broken, hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide"  
  
She would be living a lie to stay here, pretending to be happy. She was better of on her chosen path.  
  
"No one's here and I fall into myself. This truth drives me, into madness. I know I can stop the pain, if I will it all away"  
  
No one was there; she was on her own, as she would be for a very long time. Still, if she concentrated enough on just dancing, nothing could hurt or stop her.  
  
At last, the CD was done. She felt better, but still angry with those who refused to accept her decision.

* * *

"Oi! Anzu!" Anzu sighed, she recognized the voice as Jounouchi's but she was still not in any mood to speak. Yet, she could not deny her friends who had done nothing. Jounouchi, Honda, Shizuka, Mai...all of them had accepted and supported her decision. Even if they would miss her, they realized that it was her decision. She turned.  
  
"Hi Jounouchi." He looked at her strangely  
  
"Are you alright? Ya look upset about something..." She shook her head, if Jounouchi could tell, she must really look annoyed. She put on her best smile  
  
"I'm alright Jounouchi, I just had a fight with Yugi, or Yami rather..."  
  
"You guys? Fight? About what?" She shook her head, still trying to keep the smile, and not burst in anger  
  
"Nothing really, they just don't want me to leave." It was Jounouchi's turn to shake his head  
  
"I don't get those two, you'd think they'd be happy that you got in..." She shrugged and continued walking toward the café, her original destination. Jounouchi shouted after her. "Don't worry! If they come to see the recital, they won't be able to deny your love for dancing!" This time, her smile was genuine as turned back to him.  
  
"Thanks!" She went to sit down. Normally, she'd use the day before a recital to practice her routine, make sure she knew it well, and was ready to perform. But today, she'd tried, but her heart just wasn't in it. She was dancing to an upbeat song called "Fly High" by Hamasaki Ayumi. It was a difficult dance, and required a lot of attention. However, her brain was still stuck on the argument. At this rate, she wouldn't be able to perform well tomorrow either. Her body knew the moves by heart, but there would be no feeling in it, no passion. She sighed and sipped the cola in front of her. She needed another walk. Just to clear her head, again.  
  
She took her CD player and another CD that Mai had lent her. This one had haunting voices with rocking chords. It spoke to her, though she did not understand all the words. Then, it happened, the CD skipped to the next track, and she felt it move her somehow. She started picturing the routine she would dance to it. Not her usual peppy happy style, but darker, much darker, more frustrated, and lustful somehow. In her head, she could see how it would unfold. 'chest thrust spin, arrest, arms up, head tilt, hair fly...' she could make it work, she knew she could. A bit of sweet-talking to her supervisors, and she could do it tomorrow, she already knew the routine.  
  
Once home, she got on the phone to co-ordinate music and programs, as well as figure out a new costume.  
  
That night, she practiced every move, making sure that it would be perfect to convince Yugi and Yami that this is who she was, this is was the only thing she knew she could do with her life.

* * *

The next day, Yugi had joined with Jounouchi and the others to watch the recital. There were to be other performances, but Anzu was the one most people were interested in, because of the scholarship she had earned. A number of people went first. According to the program, Anzu was to be the final act, finishing of the show. Watching, everyone was impressed at the sheer talent that was being displayed. Jounouchi leaned over and whispered to him.  
  
"And just think. Anzu is better then all of these people. She deserves New York, huh?" Immediately Yugi felt ashamed. If Anzu was good enough to get the scholarship, then she should go. But the voice in the back of head (literally) whispered 'No Yugi, she will not leave us. Not like this...' There was no time to finish the conversation, because the MC had just stepped up to congratulate the previous group.  
  
"Very good! And now, to end off our program, a dancer who has very recently been accepted to the Julliard School of Dance in New York, and she has a wonderful, new routine prepared. Here is Anzu Mazaki dancing to 'Bare Grace Misery' by Nightwish!" As he left the stage, it became completely black, contrasting the other numbers, which had interesting light shows to start them off. As the percussion and rocking chords started off the song, a single spotlight appeared. In it was Anzu, dressed as no one had ever seen her before. She had on a strapless corset that was black with deep red lacings and lining, as well as fishnet half-gloves. She had on a black mini skirt with red lacings and patterns and knee high flat boots. Though not revealing, the clothing was certainly suggestive. Her dance started off with sharp arm movements, never actually moving from the spotlight. Then the lyrics came. Spinning in time to the beat, Anzu abruptly stopped to give the audience time to listen. The started moving again, as the stage was lit in a deep red.  
  
_Sweet boy, come in  
  
I am the dark side of you  
  
Die for my sins  
  
Like the One once did_  
  
Nothing of the dance was anything Anzu had ever shown before. It was dark, suggestive, but not overly, and frustrated. Yugi could practically feel her emotion, mostly aimed at him. He shrunk back, wondering what sort of mistake he had made.  
  
_Cinnamon bed  
  
For your unashamed appetite  
  
A figurant  
  
This dance will hurt like hell  
_  
The fast and furious movements stopped again on the last line. She looked straight into the audience; more specifically at where she knew her friends were sitting, mouthing the words and swaying, telling them what she felt without speaking.  
  
Oh, bare grace misery  
  
_Just a child without a fairytale am I  
  
Dark but so lovely  
  
A Little Match Girl freezing in the snow  
  
Love lying, enticing  
  
(Bare grace misery)  
  
Crowning the moment  
  
(Bare grace misery)  
  
This is what I am  
  
Bare grace for the end of days  
_  
Through the chorus, she went back to fast movements that suggested very explicit motions. However, they were still extremely subtle. Moving and twirling so fast she seemed to be flying, Anzu proceeded on to the instrumental portion of the song with a passion.  
  
_Romantic scent  
  
Spoiled Lucrece lies warm for you  
  
There's no such priest  
  
That can pray me to heaven  
  
When done with me  
  
Forget if you think I feel ashamed  
  
A wild thing  
  
Never felt sorry for anything  
_  
Yugi, by now, was feeling that maybe this time he and Yami had pushed Anzu too far. Now, they had truly lost her.  
  
_Love lying, enticing  
  
(Bare grace misery)  
  
Crowning the moment  
  
(Bare grace misery)  
  
This is what I am  
  
Bare grace for the end of days  
_  
The song ended with the lights returning to darkness. 


	2. Hope?

I Apologize. Both for taking so long to update, and updating with such an....interesting chapter. But, I'll try to be mucgh quicker next time .

Note: Both Yugi and Anzu's first language is Japanese, when they speak English, it isn't going to be perfect.

It had been too long Yugi thought glumly as he stared out the train window. Anzu had left for New York the day after her recital, without telling anyone or saying goodbye. That had been over a year ago. Many things had change, now, many of his friends were around 19, and they were drifting apart, finding new places to be, but none of them forgot each other, except Anzu. A few postcards to say she was well and regular birthday cards as well as a small present, that was all anyone had received from her. He himself had never heard from her. But, about a month ago, she had missed both Mai and Shizuka's birthday, no one had heard from her since. Eager to see her again, Yugi had begged his grandfather to let him go and find her.

He started his search in his own town. Anzu's parents, knowing that she may have good reasons for breaking contact, had not given Yugi any information on her whereabouts. All he had to go on was the school were she had been accepted, so he had flown here to search more.

So here he was, on a train taking him from the airport to the school. Hopefully, that would give a good lead as to where to find her.

* * *

When he reached the tall building that had a sign outside that said: 'Julliard School of Dance, for those who are truly great!', He couldn't help but feel a little nervous, after months of not apologizing or patching things up, he would see her again!

Yugi walked up to the front desk and asked to see Anzu Mazaki. The receptionist looked through her files.

"I'm sorry young man, but Ms. Mazaki left the school about a month ago, due to medical problems." Yugi was shocked. What had happened? Was this why she had stopped writing?

"Do you have an....address I would reach her at? I'd like to find her!" The woman behind the desk took a good look at this young man. He seemed honest enough, but with people in New York, you could never be sure. He also was obviously not English, he spoke like Anzu had when she fist arrived, with the same accent and trouble with words.

"I'm sorry, but unless you have proof that you know Ms. Mazaki personally, I cannot give you such information." She spoke slowly, as she had with Anzu, making sure he understood every word. Yugi sighed, he had some things, but would it be enough? He handed the woman the postcards that Anzu had sent his friends, as well as some photos of them together, taken just weeks before she had left.

"I Anzu's friend, in Domino, Japan, where we lived. She didn't send anything for a friend birthday. I am worried and came. I hoped that I could find her." She looked at him critically.

"Seems an awful long way to come, just to check up on an old friend." Yugi blushed. The receptions seemed to change from looking serious, too a normal teenage girl. With her attitude, Yugi could almost imagine that it was Anzu, albeit with sparkly nail paint and bubblegum. "Well, luckily for you, I knew Anzu while she was here. I'm Sarah Dubeau. What was your name?"

"Yugi, Mutoh Yugi." Sarah scrunched up her face.

"I don't remember her telling me about any Yugi, but, she does have this picture, and you do look like the boy in here...do mind if I ask a few questions? I need to be really sure." Yugi nodded. "Great! Anzu's parents names and occupations?"

"Keiko and Yohmei Mazaki, her mother stay home, but her father is a business manager." Sarah smiled,

"Right! Unfortunately, that's something that anyone could figure out. Uh....ok, I know! She mentioned one of her friends...Joshi...no...Jou...something or other, I don't remember exactly what his name was, played a game an awful lot, what was it?"

"Jounouchi? Katsuya Jounouchi? He plays Duel Monsters, the card game."

"Yeah! That's the name! Anyway, I guess you know her, so I'll give you the address. Do you need anything else?"

"Could you tell me why she left?" Yugi asked, hopefully, but Sarah was already shaking her head.

"Sorry but that is confidential and classified, even if you do know her." She stuck her tongue out in annoyance. "Sorry, I don't usually use long words." She handed him a slip of paper with the address written neatly on it. "Here you go! Good luck!" Yugi thanked her, and left to try and get a taxi.

* * *

"What kind of city is this?!? I can't believe that Anzu would want to live here off all places!" He had been walking for a long time, totally lost. He couldn't yell loud enough to get anyone's attention, all the taxi's were busy, and the one time he did manage to flag one down, someone had immediately pushed him aside. Plus, the city was littered and dirty. People who had lost their homes were everywhere on the streets. He hoped he wouldn't be one of them. He hadn't booked anywhere to sleep that night, counting on finding Anzu, and accommodations, at the school.

Finally, he managed to get a taxi flagged down. Showing the driver the address and that he had enough money to pay, he settled down. However, not for long. Once the cab got into the street, Yugi spent most of the ride trying to hold onto something, wondering how these people got their drivers license. Finally reaching the apartment building he needed, Yugi thanked the driver, and paid him. Frankly, Yugi would have paid the driver just let him off somewhere and give directions, just to be out of that car. His stomach still felt queasy from sharp turns and his head still hurt from all the yelling that had gone on.

Walking up the stairs, he wondered if Anzu would even be in. He certainly hoped sp, having made no other accommodations When he reached the correct floor and apartment, he took a deep breath and knocked. There was no answer. No noise or call. Sighing Yugi was about to walk away, when a felt a twinge of emotion. He couldn't give up this easily! He had a promise to keep, actually a number of them. Turning back around, he knocked again, still receiving no answer. Then, he tried the door. By great good luck, it was open. Poking his head in, ready to pull back in case of flying objects.

"Anzu...?" There was no answer, so he slipped in, closing the door behind him. Letting his eyes adjust to the shadows, he saw that the apartment was really small. From where he was currently standing, he could see a tiny washroom, a kitchen big enough for one person, a general room, and a door that presumably lead to a bedroom. But, Anzu was not visible. He called out one more time. "Anzu?" Again, there was no answer. He decided to check the bedroom, just incase she was asleep.

Slowly, he opened the door, and sure enough, there was Anzu, sprawled out on asmall futon. Apparently, she hadn't gotten used to Western beds, and opted for a futon instead. Smiling, Yugi closed the door behind, and knelt beside her. She hadn't changed much, unlike him. A flash of sadness crossed his face as he thought about how much exactly had changed, but quickly shook his head to rid himself of such depressing thoughts. His hand to brush her check, but she stirred at the contact. He backed up, giving her room to wake up.

"Hnnn...." Anzu stretched out, then turned to see him. Confusing was the look on her face. She didn't seem at all surprised to see him. "Great...." She murmured, "Another side effect." She closed her eyes, then opened them again "It's still here...?" Yugi stuttered, she didn't sound like Anzu's bubbly nature, but flat and depressed.

"Y..yes....I came to see you, we were worried." Mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like 'yeah right...' Anzu turned away.

"Just another illusion, don't even look Anzu, it'll go away soon enough...." Now thoroughly confused, Yugi gently placed his hand on her arm. Startled, Anzu turned to face him.

"Anzu, I'm real." Her eyes widened

"No...you can't be....I left you, both of you! You can't just appear again! Not now!" Yugi's face switched again to pain, both from her phrasing and that she refused to believe him.

"I'm here. By myself. There is no other me anymore."


End file.
